And So It Goes...
So much to catch up on… this is going to be a LONG entry….
Shane proposed to me right after the Governor’s School planning weekend, that Monday 3/20, in Outer Banks, NC where we were vacationing for a week (annual trip with my sister Becky, brother-in-law Pearson, 4-year old niece Alex, 2-year old nephew Sam, and some old friends). Shane’s 11-year old daughter (11 years old) was a big part of the proposal and of surprising me. Some of you may recall that I thought we were going to talk to her over the week at the beach about getting married and how she would feel about it, etc. We hadn't talked to her at all, and I was worried that he wasn't being as intentional and thoughtful a parent as I knew him to be b/c he was too smitten with me! Instead, she had been in on the secret proposal plan for about a month!!! I thought I had gone to this custom jeweler on my own without Shane (even though he had quietly suggested that I run over there one afternoon after we'd taken her to the movies one afternoon) - meanwhile, he and his daughter had been scheming with the jeweler for a while (and telling her things to say to trick me into thinking it would take much longer to get a ring ready!). Anyway, it was a beautiful and perfect proposal at a restaurant called “The Good Life,” and I was completely flabbergasted and shocked! After I got over the shock, we said many sweet things to and about each other and his (our!?) daughter, and… I said YES!
The ring is a gorgeous princess-cut with baguettes on each side and pave-set diamonds along the “flat sides” of the ring. It also has 2 small sapphires in addition to the diamonds, as sapphires were my mom's favorite. If you want to see a picture, eml me and I’ll send it.
Since the proposal, we have been planning, planning, planning furiously for a private wedding (just the two of us) in Barcelona then a 2-week honeymoon there and in the Canary Islands. We leave on May 25 and return on June 10. We found a wonderful dress, picked out great jewelry to go with it, a new gorgeous suit for Shane, etc. etc. Details, details… but it’s all coming together very nicely!
On a different topic (note that some of this is cut from an earlier eml to some of you…), today marks the 1-year anniversary of my mom's cancer diagnosis and the start of the last 5-1/2 weeks of her journey. A significant and vivid piece of the experience of remembering this dark season in my life is of all of you who were there in so many ways for me, and who still are. Below is a beautiful story of motherhood that my sister sent me just this morning. My response to her follows it. It's a deeply personal response, but after I wrote it, I thought it appropriate to post here, as it seems similar to the sharing that many of you let me do last year as part of my own coping and healing process. Thank you again. And please write soon and catch me up on all that’s going on with all of you!
THE STORY:
The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said "Mother, we would not have done it without you."And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength."And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. " And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them." And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence...."
MY RESPONSE:
Thank you for sending this today. It made me cry - hard. I needed that. It's beautiful and just perfect for thinking about Mama's particular journey as a (very) young mother through rough patches and of her encouragement of us in her own unique way and of her quick and rough but still beautiful ending. She never would have said she gave us courage and strength, but she certainly did. She never would have said she showed us God, but she certainly did (through her actions and her heart, not her words, which is the best way).
This morning has been a little rough for me. I went to get routine post-colonoscopy bloodwork done and thought all of sudden as they were sticking that needle in me just how quickly everything can change like it did for her with all of her problems and the pain she had, then with that one day (a year ago today, of course) when they finally found what they were looking for and diagnosed her with a tumor the size of a volleyball. There but for the grace of God go I, just like they say....
After the bloodwork I went to get my allergy shot, no one else was there to get shots, they took me right away, and the nurse was particularly nice to me. She said I looked really pretty today, that she didn't recognize me with my hair up, and that my curls are usually so pretty. Just seemed strange that she would say such sweet things all of a sudden today to me out of the blue - seemed kind of surreal. And I thought about all the times Mama took me to get allergy shots when I was little and of how many times she told the story of me crying hysterically when they first tested me. She loved to tell that story.
Then I went to get fitted for my wedding gown and was thinking of her and how nice it would be if she could be here to see it on me. Just as I was thinking that, this song came on the radio called "Broken Road" that has meant a lot to me in a lot of different ways, most recently because it seems very appropriate for me and Shane meeting and being perfect for each other at this point along our journeys. But it's a great song with great lyrics about people finding their way through rough times to get to where they were meant to be all along, about how important those rough patches are for growing and for finding out who we really are and what life is really about. Very fitting that it came on right as the alterations lady stopped talking and started pinning, just as I was thinking of Mama.
Then I came to work and got your eml. Thank you. It's a beautiful story. You're right that it's amazing how well we all coped and got through it. We should remember that and remember how we did it - with each other and with the support of amazing friends. Amazing blessings. I hope you got the emls I sent from last spring. Like I said, I plan to read them on the dates I wrote them last year, reflecting and journaling as they go by, feeling the sadness but also feeling the joy of living life and knowing, like you told me last summer, that we can hold on to the babies born and to the love in the world and to all that is good, making sure we remember that those things happen as much as these horribly tragic moments happen and being glad for the journey itself... for the questions and the mysteries themselves....
Love,
Crystal
Shane proposed to me right after the Governor’s School planning weekend, that Monday 3/20, in Outer Banks, NC where we were vacationing for a week (annual trip with my sister Becky, brother-in-law Pearson, 4-year old niece Alex, 2-year old nephew Sam, and some old friends). Shane’s 11-year old daughter (11 years old) was a big part of the proposal and of surprising me. Some of you may recall that I thought we were going to talk to her over the week at the beach about getting married and how she would feel about it, etc. We hadn't talked to her at all, and I was worried that he wasn't being as intentional and thoughtful a parent as I knew him to be b/c he was too smitten with me! Instead, she had been in on the secret proposal plan for about a month!!! I thought I had gone to this custom jeweler on my own without Shane (even though he had quietly suggested that I run over there one afternoon after we'd taken her to the movies one afternoon) - meanwhile, he and his daughter had been scheming with the jeweler for a while (and telling her things to say to trick me into thinking it would take much longer to get a ring ready!). Anyway, it was a beautiful and perfect proposal at a restaurant called “The Good Life,” and I was completely flabbergasted and shocked! After I got over the shock, we said many sweet things to and about each other and his (our!?) daughter, and… I said YES!
The ring is a gorgeous princess-cut with baguettes on each side and pave-set diamonds along the “flat sides” of the ring. It also has 2 small sapphires in addition to the diamonds, as sapphires were my mom's favorite. If you want to see a picture, eml me and I’ll send it.
Since the proposal, we have been planning, planning, planning furiously for a private wedding (just the two of us) in Barcelona then a 2-week honeymoon there and in the Canary Islands. We leave on May 25 and return on June 10. We found a wonderful dress, picked out great jewelry to go with it, a new gorgeous suit for Shane, etc. etc. Details, details… but it’s all coming together very nicely!
On a different topic (note that some of this is cut from an earlier eml to some of you…), today marks the 1-year anniversary of my mom's cancer diagnosis and the start of the last 5-1/2 weeks of her journey. A significant and vivid piece of the experience of remembering this dark season in my life is of all of you who were there in so many ways for me, and who still are. Below is a beautiful story of motherhood that my sister sent me just this morning. My response to her follows it. It's a deeply personal response, but after I wrote it, I thought it appropriate to post here, as it seems similar to the sharing that many of you let me do last year as part of my own coping and healing process. Thank you again. And please write soon and catch me up on all that’s going on with all of you!
THE STORY:
The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said "Mother, we would not have done it without you."And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength."And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. " And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them." And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence...."
MY RESPONSE:
Thank you for sending this today. It made me cry - hard. I needed that. It's beautiful and just perfect for thinking about Mama's particular journey as a (very) young mother through rough patches and of her encouragement of us in her own unique way and of her quick and rough but still beautiful ending. She never would have said she gave us courage and strength, but she certainly did. She never would have said she showed us God, but she certainly did (through her actions and her heart, not her words, which is the best way).
This morning has been a little rough for me. I went to get routine post-colonoscopy bloodwork done and thought all of sudden as they were sticking that needle in me just how quickly everything can change like it did for her with all of her problems and the pain she had, then with that one day (a year ago today, of course) when they finally found what they were looking for and diagnosed her with a tumor the size of a volleyball. There but for the grace of God go I, just like they say....
After the bloodwork I went to get my allergy shot, no one else was there to get shots, they took me right away, and the nurse was particularly nice to me. She said I looked really pretty today, that she didn't recognize me with my hair up, and that my curls are usually so pretty. Just seemed strange that she would say such sweet things all of a sudden today to me out of the blue - seemed kind of surreal. And I thought about all the times Mama took me to get allergy shots when I was little and of how many times she told the story of me crying hysterically when they first tested me. She loved to tell that story.
Then I went to get fitted for my wedding gown and was thinking of her and how nice it would be if she could be here to see it on me. Just as I was thinking that, this song came on the radio called "Broken Road" that has meant a lot to me in a lot of different ways, most recently because it seems very appropriate for me and Shane meeting and being perfect for each other at this point along our journeys. But it's a great song with great lyrics about people finding their way through rough times to get to where they were meant to be all along, about how important those rough patches are for growing and for finding out who we really are and what life is really about. Very fitting that it came on right as the alterations lady stopped talking and started pinning, just as I was thinking of Mama.
Then I came to work and got your eml. Thank you. It's a beautiful story. You're right that it's amazing how well we all coped and got through it. We should remember that and remember how we did it - with each other and with the support of amazing friends. Amazing blessings. I hope you got the emls I sent from last spring. Like I said, I plan to read them on the dates I wrote them last year, reflecting and journaling as they go by, feeling the sadness but also feeling the joy of living life and knowing, like you told me last summer, that we can hold on to the babies born and to the love in the world and to all that is good, making sure we remember that those things happen as much as these horribly tragic moments happen and being glad for the journey itself... for the questions and the mysteries themselves....
Love,
Crystal
posted by Crys_Wright | Wednesday, May 03, 2006
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